Coping with an ADHD diagnosis as an adult

As we mark International Day of People with Disabilities BAM’s own D&I Director opens up about her recent diagnoses of ADHD.

Since my late teens I have been susceptible to bouts of low mood and depression, but a big smile and a red lip generally helped me get through most of life’s daily challenges. Until about 18 months ago. I found myself unable to focus, unable to keep the smile going, questioning everything about myself, being super sensitive to the comments of others, forgetting meetings and appointments and where I left the car keys … every day.

As a woman in her late 40’s, GP’s will point everything to the peri-menopause. “It’s your age, sorry”. In my gut I knew something more was going on, I even questioned whether it was something more sinister. Then one day I was looking for webinars to share with the business for Neurodiversity week and one title jumped out at me. “Late Discovery and the Menopause”. Reading the outline I promptly burst into tears (not unusual at this time), but with a sense of relief – this sounded just like me! One of the speakers, was labelled as a neurodiversity coach (who knew they existed?) and a quick call with her helped confirm it was likely I presented with ADHD – exacerbated by the perimenopause.

Getting to grips with ADHD

This is what I learned.  ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that effects the neural structures, functions and chemistry of your brain – impacting your ability to concentrate and focus more than for neurotypical people. In ADHD the neurotransmitter Dopamine is dysregulated and this plays a role in how we think and plan, and feel pleasure.

During the perimenopause, your estrogen levels drop. This hormone is known to help key neurotransmitters work efficiently, such as Dopamine (helps executive functioning), Acetylcholine (helps memory) and Serotonin (regulates mood). So it’s a bit of a double whammy when you are experiencing both, especially if you have gone undiagnosed for all of this time.

So how did I not know I was neurodiverse? Well, maybe there were always signs.  I’ve always been pretty impulsive, a fidgeter, a creative, known for my abstract brain, always singing, never replying to texts … it was just Shelley, and my daughter was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD a couple of years back and there is a genetic link which I recognised during her assessment process. Girls and women however are known to mask these symptoms due to gender pressures, often meaning it goes undetected until the Big M arrives and chemistry means you can no longer hide it.

Feeling supported in the workplace is critical

18 months on I have had this diagnosis confirmed as ADHD, Inattentive Type. I have the most wonderful, supportive manager who has not only helped me in my own learning but taken on the learning for herself. I’ve been given the permission to be ‘me’, and not be so hard on myself when my actions don’t meet my perfective standards. It’s still a journey, but small changes are making a big difference in how I can be a really effective employee, colleague and manager.

Being vulnerable is difficult when you expect people are looking up to you, but it’s so powerful. My team have been so considerate and understanding and eager to adapt our working processes to support me – and I hope in turn is also helping them.

In celebrating International Day of Disabilities, let’s acknowledge everyone who has to work a little bit harder in order to be seen, heard and successful in today’s world. Everyone has something valuable to offer, let’s not miss this wonderful spectrum of skills that sit outside of our current thinking. BAM can only build a sustainable tomorrow if we’re making it possible for everyone to play a part.